Kill it with Fire!

Note to self: Under no circumstances, no matter how much she begs or bats her eyes… do not give her a flame thrower. Not for her birthday. Not for an anniversary. And certainly not when I forget to put the toilet lid down or eat the last scoop of ice cream.

Why?

I just saw her use the flame from a long-nosed candle lighter on a wood shelf just to kill “a tiny spider.”

Heaven only knows what she would do with a flame thrower.

(Hat tip to @michaelpatrickcoady and his story in Auntie Heroes: “Pruning with Extreme Prejudice.” Now excuse me. I need to go hide my copy so she doesn’t get any ideas.)